I've been working out at the gym for the past few weeks. I'm trying to be in shape as possible by graduation because I know it'll be all downhill during residency. Anyway, these are just a few quirks I've noticed.
The Competitor. Person running beside Competitive Girl pushes the button on their treadmill *beep, beep* to speed up a bit…you know, from 3.1 mph to 3.3. Competitive Girl’s machine simultaneously goes *beep beep* with every *beep beep* of Non-competitive and Less In Shape Gal’s machine, and CG goes from like 9.7 to 9.9. Give it a rest already. I get that I’m the tortoise, and you’re the hare. Just remember who wins that race, hun. What's that you say? Yeah, you’re probably right. You’d totally win if we raced.
The Grunter. No matter how cool you think you are as you grunt your 300 pounds off your chest, all I can think of is you having a big hairy BM, and that ain't cool. I enjoy it even more when you grunt AND contort your face to look like something resembling Linda Blair’s face in The Exorcist. Be gone you demonic fat, be gooooooone! Grrrrrr.
The Fee Fee. This gal is made up and hair did. She’s wearing a layer of makeup only seen at super-special save the whales and sick kiddos formal events. I’m telling you, I’m not one to leave the house very often without my makeup either, but for goodness sake, ruffle your hair a little bit, peel off at least 2 of those layers of base, blot your lips, remove the mascara, and come with your workout face on. We won’t judge you.
The Popper. This person’s ankles…they pop. As this person runs, the popping. It gets in my head. It’s a ticking in my brain that is haunting. My iPod can't drown it out. I feel as if I might screeeeeeeam.
Oh wait. That’s me. Heh. Sorry.
20 comments:
Nice descriptions. I love going to the gym...l so much eye candy and people watching to do.
Thanks for the GREAT question over at my blog!
I work out at a place that is 90% women and the token gay guy. I can do cardio and weight train....all I need to make me happy. This summer some cheesy 50-60ish slimebag started coming. He would just stare.....it wierded me out enough to change which classes I went to!
So I am adding: creepy slimebag guy to your list.
Hilarious. You've absolutely nailed it.
Don't even *start* with the characters *in* the locker room.
Can I add: Put a shirt on with those (perky/saggy/hairy/wrinkled) things Lady? Cause I'm not asking to see it all.
Take a look at the buff and beautifuls from behind. They tend to leave exercises off their workout that strengthen muscles they can't see in the mirror. Some of them are so lopsided I am afraid they are going to fall forward from all that pec. weight.
This was great. Loved the one about the Competitor. (Oh, I'm the 3.1 to 3.3 girl...what, that's not fast?)
My ankles pop, too.
What is this gym place you refer to? I'm not familiar. It doesn't sound like fun. Do they sell chocolate there?
Oh the gym... the bloody gym...... I hate the gym.... I really, really do.........
But you keep going and have a great time there! (wink)
Oh funny, those buff guys totally crack me up! And you know the other day I saw one big bad daddy meet his girlfriend out front with his freakin' Pomeranian puppy and he just cuddled that thing like there was no tomorrow. Totally cracked me up!
Love this list! I used to go to the gym and I have seen all of these types. The women wearing all the makeup used to crack me up the most.
I've seen those people ;) your descriptions are right on and oh so funny! (The grunter comment made me almost pee my pants!)
I've been hitting a hot yoga studio and all these characters are there along with the 'militant' girl--incapable of a smile or a hello BUT really good at staring herself down in the mirror.
Sweet post!
That 'MIKE' was me--once again the hubby was using MY laptop....
I am thinking about starting to work out again...but then I read your post. Just Kidding! You hit the nail on the head with all these people. Perfect descriptions. I can't stand it when women show up like it's the Oscars with all that makeup! I was laughing out loud!
P.S. Thanks for your precious comments on my blog! You are too sweet!
well you forced me to sign up! I went to work out and was able to run faster than the girl next to me. if you go around 11:30 she is usually there. just incase you were wanting to feel better about yourself
I'm a popper too. = )
See, that's why I can't go to the gym. I could easily turn into most of those people (especially competetive girl), and I don't want to be annoying. I'll just stick to holding the couch down.
You forgot me: The Whiner.
And I pop, but that part I can't help.
You're too funny.
Um... hello, Ms. Popularity. Time to update this thing. Your legions of fans are waiting.
OK--that is perfect! Right on!!! I remember ALL those people. I can't lie. I could be the competitor once in awhile. I was a gym dork--really, I was. I now have my treadmill, elliptical, and other fitness equipment in my basement. Now, I stumble down there in my pjs and do what needs to be done between laundry loads. Quite the glamorous life I lead . . .
GIRL. Is has almost been a week since your last post. I miss you. It's time for a Jen fix.
You hanging in?
I had to sign up since there is no Jen on myspace now.. :)
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